Blogging and Narcissism: How to Avoid the Rabbit Hole

I think we’ve all been there. We start a blog as a hobby, thinking we’ll just keep it casual. But then we start tweaking things, making them look better and move faster. Our content improves.

People start to notice. They comment on a post or two, maybe even share it. And you start to think… maybe this blogging thing could actually make me some money one day. So you start thinking about ways to make money.

You know you’re going to need traffic. So you research how to do that. You join blogging communities and hopefully start doing some smart networking with bloggers you admire. You have a group of blogs to comment on regularly. Maybe you do the link party thing too.

The next thing you know, your blog has become a part time or even full time job… which would be great, if you didn’t also HAVE a job, which you probably do. And yes, motherhood counts.

You work on it all the time. You feel burned out, but you refuse to give up. You will not be part of the majority of “has-been” bloggers. You will endure. You will succeed.

You, you, you.

You’re not quite sure why, but you feel like all of your blog-promotion efforts are so important that other areas of your life start to suffer. Instead of exercise, you’re responding to comments. Instead of enjoying dinner with your family, you’re too busy photographing it. You envision the internet to be teeming with throngs of invisible fans who are salivating eagerly as they wait for your next post.

So you write and write and promote and promote until you’re not quite sure why you started blogging in the first place.

You don’t want to give up blogging, but you do want to get some perspective. You don’t want life to be all about you and your blog. You want life to be enriched by your blog, not starved by it.

Here’s what you need to do.

Breathe

You need to take a minute to center yourself and get some clarity. This often means taking a step back from your regular schedule. Don’t worry, your adoring fans will forgive you.

Get Over Yourself

Okay, I know that sounds mean, but I’m saying it to myself as well. No matter how successful we might be, at the end of the day a blog is just a blog. It’s something to read. If you never wrote another word, the world would continue to turn. No one would be mad at you if you dropped everything, this very minute.

Return to the Fun Place

Assuming you’re not ready to throw in the towel, spend a while thinking about what it is you love most about blogging. If your marketing efforts are keeping you from doing the stuff that makes you truly happy, then by all means cut down! Sure, every bit of marketing makes a difference, but what’s it all worth if you’re burdened and stressed all the time?

Stop Thinking About the Numbers

And realize it’s never going to feel like enough. As soon as you meet your goal for traffic and followers, you’re going to set a new goal for yourself. It’s human nature. Recognize that and you won’t worry so much about the numbers.

In fact, maybe start ignoring them altogether. I do, because frankly I don’t care. And that’s liberating.

Provide Value

This really should go without saying, but it merits mentioning that almost everything you post really does need to provide value to your reader. It’s pretty easy to get self-absorbed when your posts are all about you.

Connect With Real People

Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely adore my blogging buddies. You Guys, my IBA family, are the coolest bunch of friends a girl could hope for.

But sometimes I get so caught up in my work that I forget the people right in front of me. My family, my friends, even my friends, the ones I only ever talk to on Facebook. They need attention too!

Focus on Your Real Goals

Don’t get so concerned with building traffic that you forget what you want that traffic for. This motivation, I hope, has something to do with making people’s lives better. If it doesn’t, it might not be a strong enough motivator to drive you through the tough times.

You might not have had a very clear goal when you started blogging, and that’s okay. But if you’re really going to make this a big part of your life, you’ll go crazy without a clear sense of purpose that backs up your hard work.

Conclusion

Blogging can an interesting journey of self-discovery. Don’t let it ruin you. Don’t let it become so important that you lose sight of what really matters. If you can maintain the proper sense of perspective, though, and make sure you spend your time doing things that are worth your effort, the rewards are truly limitless.

It’s all about giving back. The more you give, the more you’ll receive. Period.

Over to You

What do you do when you feel yourself starting to lose your balance?