IBA Member Clearissa from Clearissa Coward’s Command Center offers sage advice for dealing with life’s problems so they do not overwhelm you and take over your life.
We are all faced with problems throughout our lives, some are small, others huge. Depending on how we deal with them, they can be overwhelming and devastate our lives, or they can quickly fade into the past. It all depends on how we deal with our problems.
Attitude plays a big role in how we weather a personal storm in our lives. However, there are steps you can use to cut that huge problem into bite-sized pieces and make it easier to digest.
What to do:
The steps to dealing with a difficult problem can be broken down as follows:
- Get all the facts
- Describe the problem in detail
- List all the possible solutions
- List the advantages and disadvantages of each
- Detail what you will do
- Be kind to yourself
Get all of the Facts
With a difficult personal or work-related issue, consider all viewpoints, even those you may think are not appropriate. Sometimes a new perspective is exactly what is needed to provide relief from a situation that may appear insurmountable.
Describe the Problem in Detail
Do not make the problem larger than it truly is, which is often a panic reaction. Discuss your options with a friend or family member whose opinion you trust. Doing this can sometimes provide just the outlook you need and can be an instant stress reliever.
List all of the Possible Solutions
Create a process to help you figure out what you can do to fix the issue. Do know that sometimes an issue is out of your hands and there is not much, if anything, you can do except ride it out. However, if there is something you can do, list your options. I have found that seeing it on paper makes it less intimidating and more realistic. And once you have made a decision or done all you can do call it done, and leave it alone. If everything that can be done has been done then it is time to let it go.
List the Advantages and Disadvantages
We can get bogged down in a problem if we do not plan our way out of it. We must have a destination or finish line set so that we have something to work toward. Having a goal or a clear destination helps us to stay the course.
Detail What You Will Do
I also like deadlines when possible. I realize deadlines aren’t appropriate for all issues, but when a deadline is appropriate, create one. And set your mind to meeting the deadline and letting it go. Be kind to yourself and recognize when you cannot change something and once you reach your deadline, whether to your liking or not, consider if the issue is worth any more of your time, worry, or heartbreak. If not, move on.
Rejection can be an unpleasant experience in any situation, but it just lets us know that we are not perfect. Who is? Consider it a lesson learned, then forget it and move on with your life in a positive and constructive manner. The best revenge for someone who rejects you is to live a positive, successful and happy life. Use rejection as a propeller for better things. Do not allow anyone else to dictate your mood, how you view the world, or your path in life.
Be Kind to Yourself
When you are going through a problem, remember the importance of self-care. Take time to meditate, pray, or whatever you believe in. Also, exercise, eating right, or treat yourself to a massage or yoga class. And for goodness sake, get lots of rest. Do not stay up all night worrying about the issue. That will get you nothing but bags under your eyes, an irritable mood, and a sleep-deprived day when you greet the next day. Whatever makes you feel confident and better about yourself…do it!
“What we have to learn to do, we learn by doing.” – Aristotle (BC)
Until next time…Find And Remain In Your Own Personal Element – Hugs & Blessings!